Ah, contracts.
Though the game has remained largely the same for as long as we've been in business, the way those deals are being drawn up has changed a bit. No more souls, no more signing in blood - you men of silicon just don't know how easy you're getting it! It wasn't so long ago that for one teensy favor the devils would have had your wretched soul in chains for centuries of servitude; now all the devils are outsourcing their work and we've been relegated to this "customer is always right" paradigm - so you'd better damn well appreciate the Hell of a deal you're getting!

That being said, there are still a few caveats - ground rules, as it were.

First and foremost: you, the buyer, assume all metaphysical and energetic responsibilities for the actions and services that we, the merchants (that being LoveCurse and associated staff), are providing. Whether you call it Karma, the Rule of Three, or whatever non-sense your candy-coated, saccrine, crystal-waving paradigm of fuzzy bunnies happened to regurgitate this week, we don't care. The ultimate outcome for your actions is on your shoulders, so be sure you think extra hard before you contract us to do something stupid like incinerate your ex-girlfriend just because she laughed at that twisted lump of malformed flesh you have dangling between your legs. We're in the business of metting out just revenge on the dregs of humanity, not providing you with a plot-line to your own personal teen drama fantasy.

Two. No second thoughts: That's right, bub, you paid us, the check's been cashed and the ritual is well underway. What we don't want to hear at this point is any boo-hooing or how you still love her or none of that bullshit - we've all heard plenty of it to last the several dozen or so lifetimes we've spent on this rock, we don't need to hear any more. When we tell you to make damn sure you know what you're getting into ahead of time, we aren't joking. Once the deed is ordered and paid for it's getting done, come Hell or High Water. You'd be advised to keep that in mind.

Third and last is a friendly suggestion: When you get what you want out of dealing with us - and you will, trust us - don't go hollering it all about to everbody and their dog how you contracted a cabal of dread powers to do your dirty work for you. This serves a dual purpose for us: on the one hand it keeps you out of the looney bin and thus free to do future contracts, and on the other it cuts down on the number of frivolous applicants we get on a daily basis. By no stretch of the imagination is this site a secret, nor is it meant to be; however this doesn't mean we want every Tom, Dick, and Harry to know about it. Think of it this way: do you want your recently smited enemies to realize that they can smite you back? No, we didn't think so (though that's also an excellent argument for buying Hex Insurance from us with your order).